I'm trying to think of something great and inspiring to say but nothings coming to me. I'm feeling frustrated and far from
uninhibited.
My intentions have been thwarted starting last night. I was making an outfit for my second daughter, a pretty white dress to wear for a special occasion, when my machine jammed. Now in reality the first thing to go wrong was that I could not find the brand new needles that I had bought for my machine a month or so ago. I know they were there a few weeks ago but they seem to have vanished. I decided to continue with the general size needle that was in the machine and everything was going great until the last bit. All I needed to do was finish sewing a bit of ribbon round the end, but the machine is far more finicky and stubborn than me and refused to comply. Oh, I cleaned it (at least 5 times), reinserted the bobbin, rethreaded the machine and did various other tricks to get it to go, but alas, it has denied me my last few stitches.
It's done this before and from all my research and questioning of seasoned seamstresses, as near as I can tell, it needs a different needle for this fabric. Of course, my needles have disappeared. (When my youngest daughter was 2, she was quite a little pilferer. Absconding with computer cords and wedding rings and such, and hiding them in places like an old sock in the back of the closet or something. Her favorite spot was a cabinet in the kitchen filled with large pots and a slow cooker. Sometimes she would pop out of "her cabinet" when guests were over and give them a good jump. We always checked there first if something was missing. However, we no longer live in that house, and she has picked up new and exciting odd habits, like drawing bald princesses and stuff. So I'm sure it wasn't her. I think.)
Good intentions continued to be thwarted today. Since the dress is not done, I did not have a picture of my recent artistic endeavour to share with you. A bit of a bummer, since I tend to agree that the best blogs (especially art blogs) have pictures of the artist's work on them.
I did not get the sleep I had planned for and in turn woke late because baby boy has caught someones cold. Again. Poor little guy is all boogified and gross. I was tired and it was late and any number of other excuses I can think of, kept me from really exercising today. I have a
10minute workout that is designed to give you a good workout when you are short on time, and it really is a good work out. I did that one so I can at least say I did something. And I did try hard but, I'm so weak! Two years ago, a little before I became pregnant with baby, I could do jump training and a pretty decent amount of push ups for a mom that wasn't in perfect shape. Now I can barely get through normal aerobics and I couldn't do even 1 good push up (on my knees, no less) in the 10 minutes that I "worked out".
If that wasn't depressing enough, today was budget day. Ahh, budget day. Where checkbooks are balanced and bills are paid. Supposedly. This process can take me less than an hour. I know this because I've done it before. Once. I think I was the only one home that day. Under normal circumstances, (normal being 4 kids asking me to feed them, or help with math, or mend a sock, or feed them, or clean up a spill, or feed them), it takes 2-3 hours. (As I mentioned, Gabe lost a long standing job, making budget day a bit more discouraging. It wasn't the best job, but it covered our expenses allowing me to be a stay home mom to our, then, 3 children, with the tiniest bit left over to occasionally splurge or save up for something. About 2 months after Gabe was laid off, we had another surprise in the form of my pregnancy. Which turned out to be our boy, so now Gabe, while still hopelessly outnumbered, has some backup.)
I guess I should be thankful, though. When I work the numbers and look at the bank account we are not even covering expenses. We still make much less than we owe, despite the fact that we have whittled more than $1000 off our monthly outgo since last year. Yes, we've gotten help from resources like WIC and LEAP and the local food bank, but the numbers still don't work out. Yet for some reason, we still seem to have the money to pay the bills as they come.
I often think in terms of groceries (such n such bill equals so much groceries we cant afford to buy) and recently I've been very downhearted by the fact that we cant afford the luxury of fresh fruit or greens (which used to fill at least a third of the cart each week). But then again, the food bank sometimes has lovely fresh produce (even better than some stores). The food bank also gives me more pinto beans than is humanly possible to use. But I have many great recipes that call for pinto beans (and I could always make juggling balls with them. I have at least 12 pounds worth.) Also, just in the last 2 days, friends have given us bags of veggies and other small items that we could use.
We also plan to try our hand at gardening again this year (though neither one of us is stellar at it, I know how to grow zucchini! and I happen to like it too.) When I mentioned it to a friend, he offered us the raised beds he had built last year. I was thinking he might offer some advice on how to build them, but instead, he took them out and brought them over!
I had all these great ideas for what today's post should be about and I forgot all of them. They were going to be witty and inspired and full of general coolness. (Instead I'm quite frustrated by the constant interruptions. Then again, I think everyone else is frustrated by my insistence on silence.) (silence in a house with 4 kids and 4 pets and 1 Gabe? Is that an oxymoron?)
There was no being uninhibited today. There was no "bringin it". There wasn't even a finished skirt that only had 5 minutes worth of sewing left on it. But I do have (relative) quiet to write in, I have a husband who is (attempting to) make a delicious Indian dish with our many (many) onions and potatoes delivered by loving friends, along with some chicken graciously provided by our local food bank. I have a nice house to live in, (the "nice" part was also loving provide by friends, but that too, is another story). My kids are healthy (other than the boogies), we have a silly movie to enjoy together, and my goals are still within reach.
No, there was no being uninhibited (I find I'm not very good at it), but there is still tomorrow. And I'm sure along with it will be many more things to be thankful for, many more opportunities to step out of my comfort zone, and more time to work toward my goal of being uninhibited. What was it I said? "In art and family and spirituality"? Still sounds good.
Despite the very unproductive and "down" type of day that I've had, (did I mention that we also found a dead cat on our 1/2 acre property today? Just to add to the yuckness of the day, I suppose.) Despite that, I really have nothing to complain about.
Meliss
p.s. So how does one get any work done with 4 kids, 4 pets, and 1 "Gabe"around anyway?
I love the flowery background paper but it is very busy so I only let it peak out from behind the blue a tiny bit . As I said, the card is very simple, I would have liked to do something much more fancy but just didn't have time. I will have to save that for the wedding card!
The image is stamped on white paper then colored with chalks in coral, pink, dusty green, and baby blue using a blender pen. I then stamped the image again on vellum and overlaid the dress for a more subtle color. Glitter adds a bit of sparkle to the skirt. I cut the image out and formed a wire hanger in place of the stamped one. The tiny little hanger is probably my favorite part.
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